Proposed by James J
Issue:
I propose that we include these words in the closing text before the daily Unity Prayer, “You may not feel the love we have in our hearts for you, but the love is there and if you keep coming back you will soon start to feel it”.
Background:
I feel the Unity Prayer brings everyone together however preceding it with the suggested words reinforces it gently, and it acknowledges in a loving way that, though personalities can occasionally clash, the meeting and after-meeting are held by love. Thank you
I’ve heard this phrase used in many meetings of other Fellowships and I’m reassured by it.
18 thoughts on “Motion 26-3: We love you!”
It seems like a well intentioned idea, but I think it’s too wordy and not necessary, I vote against it.
Looking to others as a source of my love, does not reinforce the inner work I need to do, to become my own loving parent. Do not agree with adding this as it reinforces looking outward to others to fulfil my inner child’s need.
I appreciate the intent of the proposal. I agree with those who feel the wording tries to script my ultimate feeling about something. I also feel that we should keep the meeting’s script verbiage to an absolute minimum, to allow more time for sharing, and also allow the widest possible path for entry into the spirit of the program. “Love” is a generally over-used word, and loses its force when I hear it too much.
Some thoughts…on challenges and supports:
Challenges to Group Conscience (Traditions-Based)
Tradition 1 (Unity): Incorporating outside language causes “Fellowship Blend,” diluting the specific focus on trauma and the Inner Child.
Tradition 6 (Non-Affiliation): Adopting outside slogans may inadvertently endorse external recovery philosophies over this program’s unique approach.
Tradition 10 (Outside Opinions): Using “outside” phrases to manage “clashing personalities” relies on external fixes rather than internal steps.
Tradition 12 (Principles over Personalities): Highlighting “personalities” in the script—even to soothe them—draws focus away from recovery principles.
Emotional Safety: For trauma survivors, promising they “will soon feel” a certain way can feel like emotional pressure, violating the “no crosstalk” spirit.
Supports for Group Conscience (Traditions-Based)
Tradition 5 (Primary Purpose): If the group believes these words help a suffering newcomer stay, it fulfills the mission of carrying the message.
Tradition 2 (Authority): A prayerful, informed Group Conscience is the final authority for how that specific meeting chooses to format its closing.
Tradition 4 (Autonomy): Each group has the right to adapt its script as long as it does not harm the fellowship as a whole.
I love this idea! I’m very new to both ACA and this meeting. I find this meeting very loving and gentle. I think so many people struggle with feeling loved or lovable. It can’t be overstated that this meeting’s intent is to love! I would add the word “yet.” “You may not yet feel the love we have in our hearts for you, but the love is there and if you keep coming back you will soon start to feel it”.
I believe the text is too long already. People will come to know love in their own time. If newcomers are like I was when I first joined ACA, language like this was a complete turnoff. I was too filled with self loathing to tolerate this flowery prediction.
It also sounds like a sales pitch.
Please, go gently with our enthusiasm of all we have learned in ACA.
I would prefer to not include the additional phrase. Thank you.
I appreciate the suggestion, but would prefer not to add this text. First, I feel that the script is long enough as it is, I find it hard enough to concentrate on the literature and the feelings, every little addition makes it harder for my brain to focus even if this text would come at the end of the meeting. Second, I don’t love when people predict my future , it feels arrogant to me (how do they know how I will feel?). I understand that this is not the intention of the text, it’s just how it lands with me.
Appreciate the suggestion, however, keeping script succinct would be helpful. Not opposed just wanting to keep scripting at a minimum and could be discussed at the next script review.
I also appreciate the intent behind this proposal, but I personally wouldn’t like to hear it every day–it activates that part of me that reacts to being told how to feel, or how others feel when I don’t necessarily believe that it’s true, I’d rather come to my own conclusions about these feelings for myself. I am also uncomfortable over the recent change from “unity prayer” to “unity affirmation”. I always liked the unity prayer, but changing it to affirmation feels like we are all already there, or “supposed” to be there–it feels a bit cultish to me, even though I understand that is not the intent. I think some of my ACA issues are showing here!
Thanks for the suggestion. Agree with the comment above that the suggestion be added to the the next review.
Sounds too much like Alanon. Don’t support it. Don’t like others deciding who I love. Appreciate the intention.
I am deeply grateful to Al-Anon.
Thank you for bringing this proposal forward. I appreciate the care behind it.
We recently completed a script update, and my understanding is that the next scheduled review is November 20, 2026 (nine months from the last update)
When I previously offered suggestions, I was told it was too late in the process to make changes. For consistency with our group process, I believe we should wait and conduct a full script review at the scheduled time.
I would support a comprehensive review when it is due. There are areas that could be simplified, as some portions feel repetitive. Rather than making piecemeal edits now, I would prefer to amend this motion to propose a full review at the appropriate time and address all revisions together. I would be happy to resubmit my prior suggestions then. (See last script proposal for reference).
For these reasons, I am not able to support this motion at this time.
Test
Is this read just by the chair person, or is it said by the group? I think hearing it before the unity prayer would be helpful.
I believe this statement or something similar would be added to the script for the meeting Chair to read.
Great idea. Love it.